How To Be A Shota
by Snow-Redd
Summary: Tamaki finds Haruhi's secret stash of shota, so he decides to become a shota himself.


_There's nothing wrong with being a little curious about my Haruhi. Just one peek.. There's nothing wrong with that…_

Tamaki eyed Haruhi's new backpack that she's been carrying around. He was bursting with curiosity, wondering what Haruhi had in there, and why she carried it around so often.. Being his illogical self, he was suspicious that it might not be only school-related.

_Just one peek won't hurt, right?_

He looked around guiltily first, and when he saw the coast was clear, he opened the plain pack. First, he was greeted by textbooks, but as he delved through, he found the most unexpected and disturbing items possible.

Manga, not an unusual thing for anyone to be carrying around. But there was a lot of it. And it was all shotacon.

_My Haruhi reads this stuff?_

Tamaki skimmed the pages of the numerous volumes of dirty manga. Cute, little, innocent boys being taken advantage of by older men and women in such graphic ways. How could his sweet little Haruhi enjoy reading this? How could she _be _this way?

Tamaki went back to the excavation of Haruhi's backpack..until he found her jumpdrive.

_Hmm.. _thought Tamaki _Maybe she's written some love poems about me._

Tamaki ran to get his laptop, and ran right back to where Haruhi's stuff was. He sat down cross-legged and placed the laptop on his lap.

_Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I should wait for her to read her love poems to me herself! But I guess just looking a little won't be too bad.._

He plugged in her jumpdrive. School, school, school..

Tamaki sighed from relief., but then he saw it.

Picture after picture of cute little cat boys and dog boys all with big eyes and all nude.

_Haruhi, why?_, Tamaki's image of her was changed forever.

Breathing heavily, Tamaki gathered himself and finally calmed down (a little).

_Wait a minute…if Haruhi likes shota as much as it appears, can it be that she likes.. Hunny?_

Tamaki's heart sank. If she really did like that, Hunny would be an ideal partner. He was cute and sweet, and he acted like a little boy. If you didn't know him, you would probably guess that he actually was one. And, now that he was thinking about it, didn't Haruhi look at Hunny a little differently than usual the other day? _Oh no._

Haruhi likes little boys so maybe Hunny-sempai is the best for her. Unless…

"We always knew you were a pervert," said a devilish voice.

"But we never suspected you of being a pedophile," said an equally mischievous one

"AHHH!" Tamaki jumped up, so startled that his laptop went flying off of his lap.

"I am _not _a pervert!" Tamaki exclaimed, "This is all Haruhi's!"

The twins blinked in surprise.

"Going through her stuff isn't any better, either," said Kaoru

"I was just being curious! That's natural for a father figure!"

"Oblivious," Kaoru and Hikaru said in unison.

Depressed, Tamaki gathered all of the manga quickly and stuffed it back into Haruhi's bag.

"If Haruhi likes shotas, well, then I will be a shota," he decided fervently.

"Sempai," Haruhi said the next day, "Why are you dressed like that? And why are you wearing cat ears?"

"Do you like it?" Tamaki beamed, proud of his shota ensemble. He wore short shorts, a sailor top, cat ears, and a cat bell.

"Sure," Haruhi said apathetically.

Tamaki felt a little defeated, but then realized, _Haruhi wouldn't be obvious about her love of shota anyway. I have nothing to worry about! She's just hiding her feelings!_

"Hi, Haru-chan," Hunny's cheerful voice said.

"Oh, hi, Hunny-sempai," Haruhi smiled.

_Was that a blush I saw? _Tamaki thought

"Do you want to eat cake with me and Usa-chan?"

_How could I forget to carry a stuffed animal, _Tamaki thought and face-palmed.

"Sure," Haruhi said, and she walked off with Hunny.

_She was too quick to agree, _Tamaki thought suspiciously, _And I think I did see a blush. _

Tamaki pouted. Until he had an idea.

He strode over to where Hunny and Haruhi were sitting.

"May I please eat cake with you too?" Tamaki said attempting the cutest, most boyish voice that he could.

"Yeah," Hunny beamed with big, brown eyes.

Tamaki sat down, and helped himself to some strawberry cake, "I love sweets," Tamaki stated, trying too hard.

"I never knew that about you," Haruhi said, nervous of his new mannerisms.

"Yep! It's my favorite thing!"

"O..k.."

"Usa-chan and I love sweets, too, Tama-Chan!" Hunny said, holding out his pink, stuffed bunny.

Tamaki snatched the bunny out of his hands, "I love you, Usa-chan!"

Haruhi stared at him with a blank expression on her face. Sempai was weird, but most of the things he did could be explained..

"Can I have Usa-chan back please?" Hunny said.

Childishly, Tamaki said, "No."

Hunny started crying, but then he stood up and his expression turned dark, "I. Want. Usa-chan."

Tamaki held the bunny close against his chest, quivering (for he had lost some of his bravery), but he still mustered a "No."

Hunny went over to Tamaki and flipped him right out of his chair, and then retrieved his beloved Usa-chan. "I missed you, Usa-chan!" he said to his stuffed animal. He smiled as if he didn't just violently throw the Host Club king out of his seat

After a pause, Haruhi said, "Well..since we're not doing anything else right now, I'm going to study."

Haruhi retrieved her backpack which was laying on the floor and opened it, taking out her textbooks.

"There's something missing," she said.

Tamaki gulped.

"Where is that jumpdrive?" she sighed, "I hope Renge doesn't get too mad that I lost it."

"Renge?" Tamaki said in a squeaky voice.

"Yeah, she asked me to hold some of her stuff for her."

"So all of that shota was Renge's and not yours."

"Shota? What are you talking about? Wait, did you go through my bag?"

"Um…not exactly."

Haruhi narrowed her eyes, "You shouldn't have gone through my bag. You could have lost my stuff, but now Renge's going to be mad."

Tamaki found the jumpdrive in his breast pocket, stupefied that he forgot to return it.

"Here!" he threw it at Haruhi and ran away quickly.

Haruhi rolled her eyes.

_What was it that Sempai was saying? Shota?_

_Hmm..shota.._

Haruhi took out Renge's manga, and began to read with curiosity.


End file.
